NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 



'BAKER'5 Edition' 

9 or PLAY3 



WANTED-A PITCHER 

Price, 15 Cents 





"Salter i^bt^kek 5?cq; 

BOSTON 



COPYRIGHT, 1889, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO, 



J1. lU. Pinero's Plays 

PricCt SO Ketits Each 



THF A M A 7nN^' ^^^'^^^ ^" '^^^^^ ^^*^- Seven males, five fe- 
in£i AlTlAtiV/lliJ' mules. Costumes, modern; scenery, not 
difficult. Plays a full evening. 

THE CABINET MINISTER ^S. Z^^n^li: S" 

tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening- 

riAKiriY niPlf Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- 
UAmJl I/lvIV. males. Costumes, modern; scenery, two inte- 
riors. Plays two hours and a half. 

TUC r* AV I nPn rfcllfY comedy in Four Acts. Four males, 
iriEi UAI LUIVU VitlEiA ten females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

IJIC OniTCIT IM riDniTD Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, 
niO nWoL 111 UKUCIV four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

TUI? UnilKV UnDQC Comedy, in Three Acts. Ten males, 
iriEi ni/DDl nUIViJEi nve females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. 

IpTC Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
1I\I0 modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

1 AnV RfllTNTIFITI Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven 
LiixUl DLfUiilirULi females. Costumes, modern; scen- 
ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

♦ 
I PTTY I^rama in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five 
LiEil 1 1 females. Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. 
Plays a full evening, 

THF MAnQTDATr Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, 
lUEi ITl/lOliJ 1 I\,r\ 1 £i four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

l^alter 3|. Pafeer & Companp 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



Wanted— A Pitcher 



A Farce in One Act 



By 
M. N. BEEBE 

Author of ''The Poets' Club;' ''A Half- 
Back's Interference;' ''The All- 
America Eleven;' etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER h CO. 

1913 



Wanted — A Pitcher 



CHARACTERS 



Doc Marshall, Manager of Hillville Baseball Team. 

Jimmy Briggs, his office boy. 

Jack Norton, captain of team. 

Sam Miles, editor of *' Hilhnlle News." 

Benjamin Franklin Bangs, Jr., an intellectual athlete. 

Isaac Steinberg, a peddler. 

Silas Dewberry, an exacting parent. 

Paddy O' Toole, a roofer. 

Nicholas Navaroni, a musician. 

Bert Marks, a photographer. 

Hank Dewberry, a star pitcher. 




Copyright, 191 3, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



©C1.D 32780 



Wanted-A Pitcher 



SCENE. — Doc Marshall's real estate office. 
Enter Doc. 

Doc. Confound that kid. I told him to come straight 
back. {^Phone rings.) Wonder how long that 'phone has 

been ringing? {Takes receiver.) Hello! Yes — this is 

Marshall Oh, the game? Three o'clock sharp, and we're 

out to win to-day. Dewberry will pitch, of course; couie 
around later and I'll give you the line-up. Good-bye, Sam. 
{Enter Jimmy Briggs, shuffling feet and reading dime novel.) 
Well, Mercury, where have you been? Can't I leave this 
office at all without you sneaking off for half a day ? 

Jim. Aw, now, don't get mad, Mr. Marshall ; honest I was 
comin' right back, but Reddy Jones let me take this screamer, 
and I got interested. It's a corker, Mr. Marshall ; all about 
Injuns, bowie-knives and cowboys. Want to read it ? 

Doc {snatching paper). No, I don't pay you to represent 
a walking library of Wild West fiction. {Throws paper in 
waste-basket.) There's the place for that trash. Now you get 
to work for a change and address those envelopes. I'll be 
back in a couple of minutes. [Exit. 

Jim. I kin write those envelopes in ten minutes. 

{Rescues novels seats himself with feet on desk and resumes 
readifig.) 

Enter Jack Norton. 

Jack. Where's Doc ? 

Jim. {jumping up quickly). Just gone out, sir. He will 
be back very soon. {Recognizes Jack.) Aw, hello, Jack; I 
thought you was a customer. Say, lemme feel yer arm. That's 
a great wing you got. They ain't no one kin put 'em over to 
first like you kin. 

Jack. See here, kid, what are you fishing for now ? Got a 
ticket for the game ? 



4 WANTED A PITCHER 

Jim. Betcher life. But say, Jack, just ask the boss to let 
me off this after' ; tell him you need me to watch the bats. 

Jack. All right, I'll fix it for you. But where did Doc go ? 
We're in a deuce of a pickle. Hank Dewberry didn't show up 
for practice, Martin's arm has gone bad, and there's nobody 
to pitch for us. Doc will have to go and find Hank. 

Jim. Gee, that's tough luck. Martin's a softy anyhow ; but 
Hank is all to the merry. Here comes the boss. 

(^Begins writing rapidly.) 
Enter Doc. 

Doc. That old Mossback is always out. Hello, old sport ! 
Good for a couple of those three-baggers to-day ? 

Jack. We're up against it, Doc. Martin's arm has gone 
lame, and Hank Dewberry hasn't shown up for practice. Sup- 
pose his father won't let him off while he is haying. 

Doc. That's a pretty kettle of fish! That old skinflint 
would work nights if he wasn't afraid of the dark. Hank does 
two men's work for him anyway. If he don't show up we are 
licked ; that Valley bunch are loaded with ringers, and Martin 
wouldn't last an inning. I'll call Hank up and see what the 
trouble is. Jimmy, call up Mr. Dewberry's. 

Jim. (at 'phone). Say, Dimples, give me Hank Dewberry's 
house. You know the number all right, 'cause I saw you and 
him out ridin' last night. 

Jack. That's one way to get out of looking up a number. 

Doc. Jimmy is in a class by himself for dodging work. 

Jim. Here's Hank, Mr. Marshall. 

Doc (at 'phone). Hello, Hank. Why weren't you out for 

practice? What's that? Can't come ! Why, holy smoke, 

man, you've got to come; you are the only one that can trim 

that Valley crowd Old man won't let you off, eh? Why in 

thunder don't he hire somebody? He's got money enough. 
Hold the line a minute. Hank. (To Jack.) See here. Jack, 
Hank's father won't let him play to-day because he's got a lot 
of hay to look after and says he can't find a man to help him. 

Jack. Maybe we can find a man to send out. See if you 
can't talk to old Dewberry. Here, let me talk. I'll tell the 
old Hardscrabble a thing or two if he is there. (Takes 'phone.) 
Hello, old Southpaw, let me talk to that unruly parent of yours 

a minute Oh, he isn't home? Well, we will be licked 

good and proper if you don't come around, that's all. Good- 



WANTED A PITCHER 5 

bye, Hank. {To Doc.) That's a nice hole to be in. I don't 
know where we can hire a man to send out there for love or 
money ; everybody within ten miles is going to see that game. 

Jim. Not everybody^ Jack. 

Jack. See here, Doc, why don't you let the kid go to the 
game? Remember you were young yourself once, even if no 
one would ever accuse you of it now ; besides, we can use him 
to look after the bats. 

Doc. It would be a steady thing if I gave in to the little 
beggar once, but I'll give him a chance. We have all got to 
get busy and dig up a pitcher some place, I'll turn you loose 
on the job, Jimmy, so now clear out, and if you can find any- 
body that can pitch anything from hay to marbles send him 
along here. Do you understand ? 

Jim. Betcher life I do, and I'll find somebody that can 
throw something if it ain't anything more than a bluff. \^Exit. 

Jack. We don't stand a ghost of a chance to win without 
Hank. 

Doc. Well, we won't give him up just yet. {Enter Sam 
Miles.) Hello, here's our local newsmonger. Don't know 
where we can get a first-class pitcher on short notice, do you, 
Sam? 

Sam. What's wrong now, Doc? I thought you had the 
only lightning heaver in captivity. ^'One, two, three strikes; 
you're out." What's the matter with Hank Dewberry for a 
slab artist ? 

Jack. Oh, Hank is all right, only he can't get away from 
the parental guidance to-day. Got to gather in the new 
mown from father's broad acres. 

Sam. That's a bad break of fortune. Guess you fellows are 
in for a beating to-day then; I hear you've got to go against 
a slant slinger that makes 'em smoke. Any other changes in 
your line-up ? {Produces pad and pencil. ) 

Doc. Yes, there's our new shortstop — you haven't seen 
him yet ; he's a queer rooster, but nothing gets by his terri- 
tory. He is staying up at the Stubbs' place, and when he 
isn't playing ball he's got his nose in some book. List him as 
Benjamin Franklin Bangs, Jr. 

Sam. He will have to go some to keep up with that illus- 
trious title. 

Jack. He's a regular scientific actor, all right. Figures out 
the bound a ball will take by calculus, measuring the distance 
from the bat to where it hits the turf; and the hottest grounders 



6 WANTED — A PITCHER 

Stop dead short against the hypothetical appellations he croons 
to them. 

Sam. Guess you have been associating with him lately. 

(^ Phone rings.) 

Doc. Answer that, will you, Jack ? 

Jack {at 'phone). Hello! All right. Hank, we'll see 

what we can do with him. We are looking for a man to send 
out and do your work, but there isn't a loyal resident in the 
burg who would miss that game for less than a mortgage on the 

state I'll let you know...... So-long. {Hangs up receiver.) 

It's Hank again. He says his father is in town now, and he 
wants us to hunt him up and see if we can't make him change 
his mind and let Hank come. 

Sam. It will be easy enough to find the old codger. He 
will be over at the harness shop playing checkers with Chet 
Medders. 

Jack. Here comes a seeker for a happy home, I guess, Doc. 

Enter Isaac Steinberg, with three large pitchers. 

Stein. Wie geht's, gentlemen ? I lookit for a feller what is 
by name Marshall. You know him, yes? 

Doc. I am the interested party ; very much at your service. 

Stein, {setting pitchers on desk). Might be we could talk 
business togedder then. 

Doc. That suits me. If you are looking for a house to 
rent, or any kind of a real estate bargain, I'm your man. 

Stein, {waving hands). Vait a minute, vait a minute. No, 
no, you don't understand me yet ; I sell goods only. The 
place where I vas at down at the Valley yesterdays I meets a 
feller by name Nelson, and he says, ''The place to sell those 
pitchers is up at Hillville ; they vill need lots of pitchers up 
there to-morrow for the ball." I understands; yes, a ball is 
very thirsty place, what? You need my pitchers for ginger 
beer maybe. 

Jack. That's where Nelson put one over on you. Doc. 

Sam. We might get some fun out of this. Have your pitch- 
ers any curves, Mr. er 

Stein. I am named Isaac Steinberg, which has been by 
three generations from my great-grandfather who was a rabbi. 
I sell kettles, pots, pans, plates, rubbers, knives, spices, dress 
goods, linens, and also crockery, from what you see I have my 



WANTED — A PITCHER f 

pitchers. Sure there is curves to them ; Dresden china it is, 
and so cheap I loses money , for because I have carried them 
so long by my wagon outside it gets heavy for my horse, so I 
must sacrifice. 

Jack. Sacrifice — that's a first rate quality for a pitcher to 
possess ; none of them can bat much, so they have to sacrifice. 

Sam. There must be some out about that curve. A pitcher 
that hasn't got an out can't be very rehable. 

Stein. Vait a minute, vait a minute ! Not rehable ! Ten 
years has a pitcher like that stood on my vash-stand ! Do you 
vant sometings to last forever ? Don't fashions change none 
here? 

Doc. So that's your game, is it ? You are trying to work 
something off on us that is out of date. 

Stein. You make it a joke, gentlemen, of a business proposi- 
tion ; the Steinbergs was all business men — I vaste no more time. 

[Reaches for pitchers . ) 

Jack. Now you wait a minute ; there will be a fellow from 
the Valley in here after while, and he will need a pitcher 
sure; just leave that big one and come back later. 

Stein. Maybe I do that, but I hold you responsible for the 
goods. 

Jack. All right, old man, we'll take the chance. 

\_Exit Stein., with two pitchers. 

Sam. You ought to get into the newspaper game with that 
bundle of nerve you carry, my boy. 

Enter Benjamin Franklin Bangs, Jr., reading book. Bumps 
into Sam; book falls, ^am picks it up. 

Bangs. I beseech you to pardon, sir, the momentary aber- 
ration resulting in my unavoidable collision with your respected 
self. 

Sam (returning book). That is all right, my friend. 
Bacon's Essays have been, responsible for greater shocks than 
ours. 

Jack. Hello, old Socrates, how is the pursuit of the Fourth 
Dimension to-day ? Mr. Miles, shake hands with Mr. Bangs, 
our new shortstop. You will be saying all sorts of nice things 
about him when you write up the account of the game for that 
dinky httle yellow journal of yours. 

Bangs. It affords me great pleasure to make the acquaint- 



8 WANTED — A PITCHER 

ance of a representative of the press ; your efforts, Mr. Miles, 
toward the enlightenment of this somewhat rural community 
are highly commendable and worthy of encouragement. 

Sam. That is about all you can get out of most of these 
raossbacks around here ; they don't seem to realize that a lit- 
tle coin of the realm is a necessary item in running a successful 
newspaper ; but I am much obliged for your endorsement. 

Doc (^/ des^). Well, Bangs, old sport, how is your arm 
to-day ? 

Bangs. In the finest possible condition. I am gratified to 
state that the recent lameness, coincident with a slight degree 
of overexertion, has entirely disappeared, and the biceps, in 
which portion the strain was most prevalent, is entirely free 
from any discomfiture whatsoever. 

Doc. That sounds like a clean bill of health. 

£/iUr Silas Dewberry. 

Dew. Don't want to disturb ye none, Doc, but I kalkerlated 
1 might as well drop in and make sure that boy of mine wa'n't 
figuring on wastin' his time playin' ball with you fellers to-day. 

Jack. I guess you needn't worry, Mr. Dewberry ; you told 
Hank he couldn't play with us to-day and that is enough to 
hold him at home. It is too bad that you aren't public-spirited 
enough to let him win the championship for the town. 

Dew. Wal, Bub, I don't know as anybody was a-speakin' 
to you in particular, but it 'pears to me that it ain't no lack of 
public-speeritedness to stay home and do work that's goin' to 
put money in your pocket, instid of wastin' time throvvin' a ball 
at somebody and running round a patch of ground with the sod 
dug off. 

Bangs. Pardon me, sir, for interrupting ; you are Mr. Dew- 
berry, I believe ; my name is Benjamin Franklin Bangs, Jr. I 
am well acquainted with your son, and hold his friendship in 
high esteem. It appears to my present understanding that you 
are laboring under a misapprehension as to the mode of pro- 
cedure adopted in the pursuit of our national pastime ; so 
much so that a lucid explanation on the part of one thoroughly 
acquainted with the intricacies of the game might go far toward 
enlightening your understanding of the subject. 

Dew. Gee whiz, Perfessor, you don't belong raound here, 
do ye? Much obleeged for your offer, but I ain't got no time 
to Avnste on such fol-der-rol. 

Doc. It isn't your time we are asking for. Hank does two 



WANTED A PITCHER Q 

men's work on that farm, yet you aren't willing to give him 
a half day off once a week. We can't win the game without 
him — that's sure. 

Sam. Come now, Mr. Dewberry, you should feel proud 
that your son is able to win glory for his home town by his 
pitching. 

Dew. I don't object to Hank's gettin' all the glory he can 
stagger under, but glory won't get that hay in the barn, and 
Hank will. 

Jack. If you had been at home helping him yesterday in- 
stead of playing checkers all afternoon with Chet Medders, the 
hay would all be in. I hope Chet beat the socks off you. 

Dew. My time is my own to do what I'm a mind to with, 
youngster. I'll have to admit Chet did have a leetle the best 
of the argyment yestiddy. {To Bangs.) Ye see, young feller, 
Chet Medders and me is the champeen checker players of this 
caounty; we've beat 'em all, but we ain't sure which of us is 
best; sometimes one, sometimes t'other. So Chet says, says 
he, ''We'll play twenty-one games to see who's champeen," 
and by gum we hev each got ten. I'd give a whole lot to be 
sure of beatin' that next game. 

Doc. We are in a like position, Mr. Dewberry \ to-day's ball 
game will decide the championship between us and the Valley 
crowd. If you let Hank play we will win sure ; if you won't I 
hope Medders licks you. 

Bangs. We are all agreed with Mr. Marshall. Don't you 
perceive, Mr. Dewberry ? It is merely a struggle for supremacy 
in two different lines of amusement. We are desirous of an- 
nexing the baseball championship, while you are anxious to 
proclaim yourself the victor at checkers. The game of check- 
ers, by the way, offers unlimited scope for contention, even 
though a careful and scientific study of the subject fails to pro- 
duce many situations that cannot be offset by skillful manipula- 
tion and sufficient concentration on the part of the opposite 
contestant. I am a thorough enthusiast. 

Dew. Say, Bub, I'd jest like to take ye on for a game. 
Them notions of yourn may be all right, but I kinder kalker- 
late I kin beat the eye-teeth aout of ye. Got a board here 
somewhers, hain't ye. Doc? 

Bangs. I am always willing to grasp an opportunity for in- 
struction. 

Doc (reaching under desk). Oh, yes, we've got all the 
comforts of home ; here you are, Mr. Dewberry. 



10 WANTED A PITCHER 

(Dew. places board on stand. Bangs a7id Dew. take seats. 
Doc, Jack and Sam stand looking on,^ 

Dew. (after a few moves'). Bad idee to break your king 
row so soon, youngster. 

Bangs. Sufficient protection is more desirable than over- 
abundance. 

Jack. There don't seem to be much give and take about 
this. 

Sam. You nearly fell for that trap, Mr. Dewberry. 

Dew. I pretty nigh forgot abaout that corner man. 

Doc. This doesn't look like such a slaughter of the inno- 
cents after all. 

Sam. That little scheme would have given him a king if you 
hadn't blocked it. Bangs. 

Bangs. I believe it is your move, Mr. Dewberry. 

Dew. {rising). By cracky, young feller, you're a wonder; 
ye got me blocked dead ; I ain't got a move, and you've got 
two. 

Bangs. Merely an application of scientific principles, Mr. 
Dewberry. 

Dew. Wal, ye beat me fair and square. What'll ye take to 
show me the moves for that kind of a game ? 

Bangs. I seldom barter my knowledge of intricate situa- 
tions, but in this instance I might be persuaded to make an un- 
usual exception ; but on one condition. 

Dew. By gravy, what's that? I'll meet ye half-way. 

Bangs. If you will give your son permission to participate 
in to-day's contest at baseball, I will elucidate the moves to you 
alone. 

Dew. I'll let Hank play if your game will beat Chet Med- 
ders ; he knows a lot of 'em, and may know this one. Show 
me how and I'll try it aout. 

Doc. Take the chance anyway, Bangs ; it's the only one 
we've got. 

(Bangs and Dew. take board to corner of room.) 

Sam. Great head that lad has on his shoulders ! 

Jack. He took the wind out of old Dewberry's sails, all 
right. 

Doc. If the old duffer was going to play anybody but Chet 
Medders, we could fix it up to let him win, but Chet is just as 
batty over checkers as Dewberry. 



WANTED A PITCHER II 

Sam. You might as well try to move a paving stone with a 
toothpick as to try and persuade one of these home-grown 
rubes to change his mind. 

Dew. {turning front^. Much obleeged, Bub. Naow, I'll 
jest go across the street and try it aout on Chet. 

Sam. I'll go along and referee the contest. 

Jack. We might as well go over and see the fun, Doc. 
Mr. Dewberry is evidently going after that game hard. Come 
along, too, Bangs? 

Bangs. It occurs to me that the interval of time before 
dressing for the ball game I can dispose of to much better 
advantage by a further perusal of this subject in which I am 
so deeply engrossed. 

Doc. We will leave you to manage this hive of industry 
then. I'll be back in a few minutes if Mr. Dewberry does his 
duty. 

(^Exeunt Dew., Sam, Doc and^xcYi. Bangs resumes read- 
ing.) 

Enter Jim. 

Jim. Hello, Mr. Bangs — get the mister? That's out of 
respect for your learning. 

Bangs. Learning is a good thing to respect, my boy. I 
see you make use of your spare moments, too. At your age a 
copy of Shakespeare or a volume of Gibbon's *' Rome " was my 
constant companion ; to either of which, as the case might be, 
I referred at any and all times of leisure that presented them- 
selves. Much knowledge may be absorbed in odd moments. 
May I inquire the title of the edition protruding from your 
pocket ? 

Jim. Well, that's — er — say, Mr. Bangs, don't you tell the 
boss, will you? He took this away from me once, and I ain't 
finished it yet. 

Bangs. I should consider such action on his part exceed- 
ingly unwise and wholly uncalled for; young lads of to-day 
spend little enough of time in good reading. You should be 
encouraged, not hampered, in your taste for literature. May I 
glance at the contents ? 

Jim. Sure thing; you can take it till I get back. Gee, 
this pitcher is just what I've been looking for ! Reddy Jones 
and me are going to run a lemonade stand at the game to-day. 
So long, Mr. Bangs ; here's the story book. 

[^^/V Jim., with pitcher . 



12 WANTED — A PITCHER 

Bangs. Now, I wonder what his young mind has been 
absorbing ? Such a bright lad would be content with nothing 
less than a classic. {Reads aloud.) ''The Bloody Trail, or, 
the Capture of Dangerous Dan." Ah, I am disappointed; 
merely fiction, merely fiction. {Resumes own book.) 

Etiter Paddy O' Toole. 

Paddy. Begorry, Oi wonder phwat the divvle a job av 
roofin' there is about this shack? Afternoon, sor. Might it 
be yourself that's lookin' for some wan to do a pitching job? 

Bangs. Not personally, and my present position does not 
give me authority to reply either negatively or in the affirma- 
tive as to your first inquiry ; but on my own responsibility, I 
may inform you that Mr. Marshall is exceedingly desirous of 
obtaining for the afternoon any person familiar, to the extent 
of success, with the art of pitching. 

Paddy. Oi'm the man thin for the job, Mr. Marshall; 
that's the name the little shaver towld me about. And where 
is th' boss ? 

Bangs. If you will excuse my absence I will inform him of 
your presence. 

Paddy. Thank ye, sor. It's waitin' here Oi'll be till he 
coomes around. (Sils down. Exit Bangs.) Shure and Oi 
thought there would be a job up this way. A man could stay 
round th' Valley for weeks and not be airnin' the salt for his 
porridge. An afternoon's worruk ain't so bad for a starter. 

Enter Stein. 

Stein. Might it be you are the feller maybe from down by 
the Valleys what wants to see me about a pitcher ? 

Paddy. Faith, and Oi'm the bye that's right on the job 
whin there's annything doin' in th' way of pitch or roofin' of 
anny description. 

Stein. Might we could talk business togedder then ? Now, 
this here thing seems to me for a sample 

Paddy. Sample, is it? Shure and Oi don't belave in 
samples mesilf; raanny's the toime as foine a lookin' sample 
as ye iver belt befront yer face is shure to crack on the surface. 

Stein. Vait a minute, vait a minute ! Good goods is 
alvays like der sample when I do business. I have it : a pitcher 
will wear you for years without a crack ; six years I haf had it 
already. 



WANTED — A PITCHER 1 3 

Paddy. G'wan wid yez. Do ye take me for a doonce 
entoirely? There ain't no pitch or ever will be that will stand 
that long widout crackin'. 

Stein. I haf it myself, I tells you ; you young fellers what 
knows everythings is maybe sometimes wrong. I wouldn't use 
no other kind, understand me ? 

PADDy. Faith, and Oi want the job bad or Oi'd answer yez 
back as yez desarve. It's a purty pass whin a poor man lookin' 
for worruk must take the jibes frim the likes of yez, and him 
wid the wit he's blessed with. 

Stein. A job, iss it ? I haf no job for you. Myself, I sell 
goods only. 

Paddy. Thin why did yez ask me to do a pitching job ? 
Shure and Oi've a mind to poonch yez. 

Stein. Vait a minute, vait a minute! Understand me 
again. Pitchers it iss. Pitchers, I sell them; also ketdes, 
pots, pans, dress goods, linens 

Paddy. Niver moind yer stock in trade. Oi ain't no tax 
assessor. Shure and it must be wan of thim litde travelin' 
stores yez have, wid iverything from httle tin dippers to wash- 
bilers, and yersilf for the sign. Phwat's that got to do wid 
pitch 

Stein. Pitchers ! I told you before vunce. A feller by 
name Marshall here, he says a party from the Valley vill vant 
some pitchers ; you say you come from the Valley, so I offer 
you my pitchers in a businesslike way, but you know nothings 
about business. Also down at the Valley they tells me this 
here feller Marshall also needs pitchers, but nobody buys. 

Paddy. Aw, Oi get yer dope now ; you're after sellin* me 
a few pitchers; — buckets is more in my line. You ain't the 
boss around here then? And phwat moight yer pitchers be 
like ? Oi don't see none. 

Stein. Right here 1 haf it a pitcher— such a bargain you 
have never seen. {Looks around for pitcher.) Where has it 
gone? That feller Marshall, I hold him responsible! Right 
avay I go und lock up my wagon, else it also maybe disappear. 

[Exit. 

Paddy. Faith, and it looks as if some wan had put up a job 
on the Sheeney. 

Enter Doc and Jack. 

Doc. Well, sir, what can I do for you ? 

Paddy. Oi heard yez was lookin' for some wan to do a little 



14. WANTED — A PITCHER 

pitching job, sor. Oi ain't no riferences except for that little 
bit av whitewashing down at the Valley last week. 

Jack {to Doc). Whitewashed 'em — not a score ; that listens 
good. 1 heard they had a ringer down there that was a wonder. 
He must have got sore on Nelson's bunch and come up here 
with us to get square. 

Paddy. Shure and no wan can get a square deal down 
there. 

Doc. You will find us a different kind. Do you put much 
of anything on your slants ? 

Paddy. Faith, and it takes no more stuff for a slant than a 
straightaway ; it's all in the way yez puts it on. 

Jack. There's something in that, too, but you will have to 
spread some on this job and do a little mixing ; it won't do to 
put it over all alike. 

Paddy. Shure and Oi ain't been in the business six years 
fer nothin', me bye. 

Jack. Guess you won't shove it out too hot for Dutch to 
handle, though. He never drops anything. 

Paddy. All the same, he will be needin' thick gloves. 

Doc. You had better take him out to warm up a little, 
Jack. Here's a couple of mitts and a pill. {^Hands out gloves 
and ball from desk.) We can find a suit somewhere if you 
think he will do. I'll be out in a few minutes and size up his 
speed. 

Paddy. Shure and moight Oi be askin' phwat the blazes 
yez be talkin' about ? Thim gloves is no good wid holes in the 
backs of 'em, and Oi'm wearin' me overalls. 

Jack. We couldn't let you on the diamond in that rig. 
We fellows have the reputation of being a pretty neat looking 
bunch on the field, and you will have to live up to it; as for 
the gloves, you must be used to catching with pillows. 

Paddy. Catchin' phwat ? Shure and Oi don't be throwin' 
pitch around in chunks. It goes on hot from me dipper, and 
lays where it's put. 

Doc. Now what are you talking about? You're a pitcher, 
ain't you? 

Paddy. Shure, Oi'm a pitcher. Ain't Oi been tellin' yez 
Oi kin pitch anny roof in the country, slantin' or flat? Ain't 
that phwat yez are hiring me for ? 

Jack. I guess this is another one on us. 

Doc. What we want is a baseball pitcher. Do you get that 
settled under your thatch ? 



WANTED A PITCHER 



'5 



Paddy. And why ain't yez sayin' so in the first place? 
Where is that amatoor likeness av a college prisidint that tells 
me yez have got a pitching job, and me a roofer ? Ain't it 
pitchin' roofs Oi bin doin' for years, excipt when Oi have to 
fall back on whitevvashin' for lack of worruk? 

Doc. Well, it's nothing more than a misunderstanding on 
both sides. We were so anxious to land a good pitcher that 
we didn't watch out for signals. 

Paddy. Oi'm beginnin' to think this place is worse than 
the Valley. First Oi chews the rag wid a Sheeney peddler, 
thinkin' he's got a roofin' job fer me, only to find he is tryin' 
to sthick me fer the sale av a water pitcher ; then yez raises 
me hopes av makin' an honest livin', but there's nothin' doin' 
there. Divvle a bit av luck comes me way. 

Jack. Now, that is too bad, but if it is really work you are 
looking for we can give you something to do. Ever work in a 
hay-field ? 

Paddy. It was me cut the hay Maud Muller raked. 

Jack. Hooray ! Get Hank on the 'phone, Doc, and tell 
him we have got a man to send out and take his place. 

Doc. Better not go too fast; I've got a guess that old 
Dewberry will want to pass judgment on Hank's substitute. 

Jack. I'll take him over and interrupt that checker game 
long enough to find out. 

Paddy. Lead the way to the hay-field, sor. 

[Exeunt Jack and Paddy. 

Enter Sam. 

Sam. Who is the rookie Jack has got on the string ? 

Doc. That is another flash in the pan, like Steinberg and 
his crockery. We thought we had a pitcher, but found out 
he is a roofer looking for work, so Jack is steering him over to 
see if old Dewberry won't put him to work in the hay-field and 
let Hank off. How is the checker game coming along ? 

Sam. Too slow for me; Chet Medders holds an inquest 
before every move, so I left. 

Doc. Jimmy seems to be sending in the candidates, any- 
way. Here comes another. I am suspicious by this time, but 
won't show it. We will get some fun out of our little predica- 
ment, if nothing else. 

Enter Nicholas Navoroni, with fiddle. 

Nav. Gooda-day, gentlamen; Meester Marshall, ees it? 



l6 WANTED — A PITCHER 

Ze boy say you wanta someboda to play for da ball. I am full 
of da museek. It ees my soul. 

Doc. Why, yes, we do want somebody to play. Could we 
get you to pitch ? 

Nav. Firsta time I strika da peetch — so ! {Draws bow 
across sir t figs.) Nevair miss to strika da peetch. 

Doc. Say, my friend, if you could only say that back- 
wards — "never miss to pitch a strike," we wouldn't have to 
look any further. Do you like to play ball ? 

Nav. Play for da ball — greata da fun. I wait longa time. 
First I sella banan ; not much lika da job. No museek sella 
banan. I am full of da museek. Sava da mon and buy grind 
org ; all day maka da museek on da street. 

Sam. I guess it's him for the minors too, Doc. 

Doc. Evidently not a box artist. Do you think you could 
play first base ? 

Nav. I am what you call da expert ; mucha time I play da 
first bass. Ever since I sella da grind org and buy da fiddle — 
maka much museek. I play any part. Maka da mon to buy 
barber shop ; fiva da chairs, all busy. I own it, so now I have 
da time to play for da ball. Ah, it ees great to make da 
museek. 

{Violin solo can be given here if the character is proficient.^ 

Doc {to Nav.). I guess you will do, all right. {To Sam.) 
I haven't got the heart to throw the harpoon into such a dream 
of bliss. The boys wanted a dance after the game so we will 
hire this fellow for to-night. {To Nav.) The dance starts at 
eight o'clock in the town hall. What will you charge us ? 

Nav. Fiva dollar, I taka da job. Mucha thanks, gentla- 
man. I am full a da museek. Gooda-day. [Exit. 

Sam. That's what I call professional talent. Nothing inter- 
feres with the main purpose. Why, that Neapolitan Symphony 
don't know now that you were looking for a baseball pitcher ! 

Doc. No, our national game doesn't seem to be a universal 
favorite with these representatives of foreign climes who have 
called on us to-day. I am afraid we will have to hunt up some 
product of the sand lots, as the sporting editors put it. (Enter 
Dew.) Well, who won, Mr. Dewberry? 

Dew. Game hain't finished yet; Chet had to stop and 
mend a feller's harness. I'm a leetle bit afeared Chet knows 
that young feller's game, too. 

Doc. You are no good if you let him beat you, that's all 



WANTED A PITCHER 1 7 

I've got to say. I'm going out and mail this letter. I'll be 
back pretty soon. [Exit. 

Sam. See here, Mr. Dewberry, what is the reason you won't 
let Hank play to-day? 

Dew. Consarn ye, I told ye he had to get that hay in. 

Sam. Well, I've got some public spirit, if you haven't; the 
boys can't v,^in without him, that's certain. Now I was brought 
up on a farm and can load as much hay as the next man. I 
hate like the deuce to miss that ball game, but I'll go out and 
do Hank's work if that will suit you, and you let him off. 

Dew. Wal, I'll let ye know after the checker game is fin- 
ished. If I win ye won't need to take Hank's place. 

Sam. Oh, you will probably lose. I'll be back here later 
ready for work in case you do. [Exit. 

Dew. Naow if them fellers had gone at me just right I 
might have let Hank play. But I don't kalkerlate on bein' 
forced into doin' it unless I win at checkers. 

Enter Doc. 

Doc. Did you hire that Irishman we sent over? 

Dew. There was a feller in lookin' for a job, but I wa'n't 
goin' to be interrupted then, so he said he would come back 
later. 

Doc. Ten to one he won't, so there is another chance gone. 
Now look here, Dewberry, you have seen me do a pretty good 
day's work, haven't you? 

Dew. You are quite a hustler, Doc, I'll admit. 

Doc. I have some regard for this town's baseball reputation 
if you haven't. Now you call Hank on the 'phone, tell him to 
come in here ready to play, and I will go out and do his work. 

Dew. Better wait till I finish that checker game. Doc ; I 
might win. 

Doc. If it takes you as long as it has so far, it will be too 
late anyway. 

Dew. Hank can load a lot of hay; I'll have to think it 
over, Doc. 

Doc. If you lose and don't let me take Hank's place, you 
will never hear the last of it, I promise you. I'm not taking 
any more chances, and will be ready for work if needed. Just 
watch the office till Chet is ready, will you ? [Exit, 

Dew. I reckon Doc could load more than Sam. 

Enter Bangs. 



l8 WANTED — A PITCHER 

Bangs. Ah, Mr. Dewberry, concentrating your mind, I sup- 
pose, for the final manoeuvers. Your prowess up to the present 
has been commendable ; it is unfortunate that an interruption 
occurred to disturb your manipulations. 

Dew. I kinder thought I hed Chet guessin' for a while. 

Bangs. At your present rate of progress, however, the re- 
sult will be retarded to such an extent that your decision will 
not enable your son to appear in season for the ball game. 
Sucli being the case I deem it advisable to sacrifice my personal 
attention to the duties of my somewhat subsidiary position, as 
compared to his, and volunteer my services to perform the la- 
bor at which your son is now engaged. If you will kindly 
direct me, I will proceed to his relief at once. 

Dew. Loadin' hay ain't no soft snap, young feller. 

Bangs. I have assisted my uncle at the same occupation to 
a considerable extent the past week, and owing to the strict 
course of training and conscientious selection of diet which I 
pursue, I am extremely confident that my muscles will prove 
subservient to my determination. 

Dew. Mebbe so, mebbe so, but I kinder think I'll win from 
Chet, so you'd better wait a leetle longer. 

Bangs. Very well, sir, if your decision is irrevocable, I can 
only hold myself in readiness to meet the possible emergency, 
and will return shortly ready for work, if occasion requires. 

[Exit. 

Dew. Field hands seem to be gettin' kinder common raound 
here. 

Enter Jack. 

Jack. Look here, Mr. Dewberry, I don't think you are 
giving us a square deal. We can't wait all afternoon for you 
to make up your mind whether Hank can play or not. Chet 
has finished his job, and is waiting for you now. 

Dew. Won't take very long for one or t'other of us to win 
aout then. I'll let ye know pretty soon. Bub. 

Jack. I don't think we can wait any longer. You are put- 
ting yourself in wrong with the boys, Mr. Dewberry, and it 
won't help you any if you want to run for tax assessor this 
fall. 

Dew. Reckon I kin run my own campaign, youngster. 

Jack. If that haying job is all that is keeping Hank, we can 
fix that. We'll let Rogers take my place on third base and put 
our weak man in right field. There won't many hits go out 



WANTED— A PITCHER 



19 



there with Hank pitching. Then I can go out to the farm and 
let him come in and pitch the game. 

Dew. By cracky, young feller, that's the biggest temptation 
I've had yit. If it wa'n't for disappointin' Chet I'd go right 
along naow and boss ye. Reckon ye would have to hustle 
some then. 

Jack. Just the same I'll bet you are not enough of a sport 
to take me up on my proposition. 

Dew. Wal, Bub, ye see Chet would say I was afeared if I 
went off withaout finishing ; but by heck if I lose, it's a go. 
Naow I'll jest tackle Chet agin. It won't take more'n a few 
minutes to decide the champeenship. 

Jack. Well, hurry things along. (^Exit Dew.) I don't 
wonder farmers' sons leave home. 

Enter Bert Marks, with camera and tripod. 

Marks. Hello, Jack, are you the silent partner here ? 

Jack. How are you, Bert ? Who is entrusting a likeness 
of his visage to your tender mercies now ? 

Marks. I just dropped in to see Doc on a little matter of 
business. 

Jack. Guess he is over across the street ; old Dewberry and 
Chet Medders are deciding who's who at checkers. I will run 
over and tell him you are here. 

Marks. All right ; much obliged to you. {^Exit Jack, at 
L. Enter Bangs, r., weariftg wide brimmed straw hat, red 
banda?ta handkerchief around neck, and carrying pitchfork, 
which he leans against wall. ) Good-afternoon ; you are a 
stranger in town, I take it. 

Bangs. Practically. I am sojourning for a fortnight or so 
with my maternal uncle, Mr. Stubbs, with whom you are 
doubtless acquainted. 

Marks. Oh, yes, I know Jim. You must be the new 
shortstop on the ball team. 

Bangs. Your inference is correct. That mode of recrea- 
tion appeals to me highly. 

Marks. Doc's youthful assistant was telling me his boss 
wanted a picture. 

Bangs. I can readily corroborate his statement. 

Marks. Wish I knew the size of the plate. 

Bangs. I believe the regulation size is in vogue. He is 
also particular regarding the distance to the pitcher's box. 



20 WANTED — A PITCHER 

Marks. That can be easily adjusted according to the light. 
Picture box ! {Points to camera.) That's a good one ! Here 
is Doc now. 

Enter Doc. 

Doc. Hello, Bert ; have you met Mr. Bangs, our new short- 
stop? Ben, shake hands with Mr. Marks, who is responsible 
for all the facial reproductions around this neck of the woods. 

Bangs. Owing to the absence of an interlocutor, so to speak, 
we simultaneously dispensed with the formality of introductions. 

Marks. Jimmy told me you wanted a picture. Is it for a 
blonde or a brunette this time. Doc ? 

Doc {laughing). So Jimmy roped you in, too, did he ? 
The truth of the matter is I am looking for a baseball — note 
carefully — baseball pitcher, slinger, heaver, or whatever you 
want to call it ; but so far nothing but peddlers, roofers, mu- 
sicians, etc., have appeared, and lastly you. Well, this is a 
good one. 

Marks. You have got one on me this time, Doc. That 
must have been the home plate you referred to, Mr. Bangs. 

Bangs. A curious coincidence of similar names for different 
objects. 

Doc. Say, Bangs, is that a new training stunt ? Protection 
from the sun, I suppose ? 

Bangs. I shall explain my somewhat ludicrous adornments 
later. 

Enter Sam, r.. Jack, l., each with pitchfork. They stop and 
stare at each other. 

Marks. Hello, boys ; emissaries from the hoof and horn 
chieftain ? Better take Doc first. 

Doc. Come ahead — I know the answer. Both of you are 
planning on taking Hank's place in the hay-field ; that explains 
Bangs' decorations also — I hadn't noticed his fork before — and 
I may state that I am also a candidate for the job. 

Sam. It looks as if the old hayseed had us all on the string. 

Jack. I have got first call on the job if Chet wins. 

Doc. You might as well stack your artillery and wait for 
the verdict. {Leans forks against wall.) 

Enter Jim. and Hank Dewberry tn baseball unifor7n. 

Jack. Look who's here ! 

Jim. I brought you a real pitcher, Mr. Marshall. 



WANTED — A PITCHER 21 

Bangs {shaking hands with Hank). You have greatly re- 
lieved the tension of the situation by your appearance, my dear 
Henry. 

Sam. How did you manage to get him here, Jimmy ? 

Jim. That was easy. I got my maw to invite his maw 
over to help her work on a quilt. Mrs. Dewberry couldn't 
come without takin' one of the horses, and Hank couldn't haul 
hay with one horse. 

Marks. You are wasting your time in the real estate 
business, Jimmy. 

Hank. That let me out all right. Making a collection of 
pitchforks, Doc? 

Marks. Allow me to speak where modesty forbids else- 
where. These fellows were each ready to go out to the farm 
and take your place, Hank. 

Hank. I am much obliged to you just the same, boys, and 
if we don't win that ball game this afternoon you can use those 
forks on me. Have any of you seen Dad ? 

Jim. He is comin' now. 

Enter Dew, 

Dew. What ye doin' here, Hank ? Got that hay in ? 

Hank. Mother took one of the horses. She said if you 
could use the extra one to hold up a hitching-post while you 
played checkers all afternoon, the hay could wait. I can't haul 
hay with one horse, so I jumped on my wheel and came in to 
pitch for the boys. 

Dew. Wal, I'm glad ye did, for I was just goin' to send 
word for ye. Boys, I'm the champeen checker player of this 
caounty ! 

All. Hooray ! 

Doc. Good for you, Mr. Dewberry. 

Sam. I will give you a first-class press notice. 

Bangs. My congratulations, Mr. Dewberry, are as abun- 
dant and sincere as if my humble tutoring had not assisted you 
in the accomplishment of your desires. 

Dew. Startin' a hardware store as a side-line. Doc ? 

Doc. We acknowledge that the joke is on us this time, Mr. 
Dewberry. 

Hank. I'm glad you won out. Dad. 

Dew. Wal, you go and win that there ball game, and we'll 
have two charapeens in the Dewberry family. {All laugh,) 
Enter Paddy. 



22 WANTED— A PITCHER 

Paddy. Faith and Oi'ra still a-lookin' fer that job. 

Dew. What's yer line of trade, neighbor? 

Paddy. Oi'm a roofer, sor. 

Dew. Come out to my place and I'll put ye to work ; my 
barns need pitching. 

Paddy. Oi'll be there wid th' pitch. {To Doc.) The 
roofin' kind, mind ye. 

Enter Nav. 

Nay. I come to aska da question — where ees it, da town hall ? 
Jim. That's a cinch — follow the crowd. 

Enter Stein., with pitcher. 

Stein. Where vas my pitcher? The feller Marshall I 
holds responsible. This one I keep by me, understand ? 

Doc. All right, old man, just bring all you have got over 
to the town hall ; we can use them to-night. 

Stein. Such a business 1 

Doc. Well, here are all of our recruits. We ought to have 
a souvenir of this occasion. 

Jack. How about a picture ? What do you say, Bert ? 

Marks. Always at your service. 

Doc. We might as well have the whole bunch. 

Sam. I've got an idea. Here, Mr. Dewberry, you and Hank 
each take a pitchfork. Now Til just borrow your pitcher. 

(Takes pitcher.) 

Stein. Vait a minute ! Vait a minute ! 
Bangs. It is merely a temporary loan, sir. 

(Dew. and Hank form angle by holding up forks with the 
pitcher hung on tines.) 

Marks. Now just form a group about the two champions. 
Jim. Here's where I fit. 

{Squats on floor between Dew. and Hank. Others form 
half circle.) 

Paddy. Faith and Oi'm glad Oi left th' Valley. 
Stein. And my pitchers vas all sold already. 
Nav. I will mak fina da museek. 1 am full of museek. 
Sam. Won't this look great on the front page of the News ? 
Dew. Jest say a leetle something abaout the checker cham- 
peen, too, Sam. 



WANTED — A PITCHER 



23 



Bangs. I shall treasure a finished production of this assem- 
blage as one of the most highly cherished of my possessions. 

Jack. Hurry things along, Sam; it's most time to dress for 
the game. 

Hank. If I have to hold this pose much longer my arm 
won't be able to pitch anything but hay. 

Doc. And after we get through with that Valley crowd it 
will be hard work to make them believe that we ever Wanted a 
Pitcher. 

Marks {with camera in position on tripod'). Now every- 
body look pleasant, please, and watch the little bird. One — 
two — three ! 



CURTAIN 



New Flays 



A RUSSIAN ROMANCE 

A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS 

For Female Characters only 

By Helen Kane 

Authw' c/" A Point of Honor," etc. 



Sixteen female characters. Scenes, two interiors ; costumes modem. 
Plays two hours. A very exceptionally dramatic and effective play for ali 
•women, high in toae and quite above the average in quality. Calls for strong 
acting by three of its characters, has several good character parts and a 
number of minor parts that call for handsome dressing. An excellent play 
for a woman's club, easy to stage and absorbing in interest. Confidentlv 
recommended to the best taste. 

Pricey 25 cents 
CHARACTERS 

Mlle. SANNOM {Olga Pefrovna), a Mrs. Tremaine, coutin to Mrs. Will' 

Russian refugee, ner ; a '■'■ manager." 

Madame Ignatieff, wife of the Bus- Lady Gray, ivife of English Ambas- 

siun Ambassador. sudor. 

Madame Luvoff wife of Attach^, Madame de Fa YEUSEj^t/eo/Fre/icA 

Russian Embassy. Minister. 

Mrs. Willner, ivife of Senator,— Mrs. Weston, "i Callers at Sen- 
kindly and inconsequent. Mrs. Ellett, ator Willner's 

ASENATH, her da lighter, aged eighteen; Miss de Lorme, S- Thi.s number may 

romantic but loyal. Mlss FAIRFAX, beinerecu. ^difde^ 

LoRNA, her ^^ Baby," aged six; rebel- Miss DE Peyster,J sirable. 

lious — " enfant terrible." Sash.4., maid at Russian Legatin i. 
HuLDAH, maid to Mrs. Willner. 

SYNOPSIS 

ACT I. Scene 1. —At Senator Willner's. Olg^, (Mile. Sannom) arrives 
in America, in search of her brother. 

Scene 2. — The same. She " manages " the " unmanageable." 

ACT II. Scene 1. — " Calling day" at Senator Willner's. Olga meets 
an old frieud, and is seen by her enemy. 

Scene 2. — At the Russian Embassy. Story of the escape from Siberia. 
The enemy threatens. 

ACT III. Scene 1. — At the Embassy again. Olga meets her enemy. 

Scene 2. — At Mrs. Willner's. The enemy conquered. 

THE LAND OF HEART'S DESIRE 

A FAIRY PLAY 

By W. B. Yeats 

Three male, three female characters. Scenery, a plain interior ; cos- 
tumes, Irish peasant. Plays half an hour. An excellent example of this 
author's Avork. It has been extensively used in this country by schools of 
acting, and the present edition was made for this purpose. Perfectly act- 
able, but most unconventional in form and treatment. Otfered to students 
rather than for acting. 

Price,, 15 ceni» 



New Publications 



PIECES PEOPLE LIKE 

Serious, Humorous, Pathetic, Patriotic and Dramatic 

Selections in Prose and Poetry for Reading 

and Recitation 

One hundred selections in prose and verse by Chauncey M. Depew. 
Col. John Hay, Hezekiah Butterworth, James Russell Lowell, John 
Boyle O'Reilly, Robert G. Ingersoll, Bill Nye, James Whitcomb Riley, 
T. W. Higginson, W. H. Seward, Clement Scott, Joaquin Miller, E. C. 
Stedman, Brander Matthews, John G. Saxe, Joel Benton, Charles Follen 
Adams and others. 214 pages. 

Price, 25 cents 

BAKER'S COMIC AND DIALECT 
SPEAKER 

Readings and Recitations for School or Platform 
in Negro and Irish Dialect 

One hundred and forty-three selections in prose and verse by Irwin 
Russell, Joel Chandler Harris, M. Quad, Mark Twain, Detroit Free Press, 
Texas Siftings, R. H. Stoddard, Samuel Lover, " Life," Joaquin Miller, 
Capt. Marryat, Cormac O'Leary, W. W. Fink, Margaret Eytinge, Wm. 
B. Fowle, Mark Melville, T. N. Cook, Lizzie N. Champney and others. 
262 pages. 

Price, 25 cents 

CLUB AND LODGE-ROOM ENTER- 
TAINMENTS 

For Floor or Platform Use 

Comprising : " A Ribbon Race," any number, males and females ; « A 
Variety Contest," any number, males and females ; •< The Shamrock Min- 
strels," four males, three females; "Apollo's Oracle," any number, males 
and females; «' Plantation Bitters," nine males, eight females ; " Gulliver 
and the Lilliputians Up To Date," ten males ; " Dame History's Peep- 
Show," any number ; " The Broom Drill," sixteen characters, "male or 
female or both. 160 pages. 

Price, 25 cents 



Sent post-paid on receipt of price by 

Walter H. Baker & Co., 5 Hamilton Plaos5 

BOSTON. MASS. 



New Publications 



THE PROSPECTOR 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Willis Steell 

Six male, two female characters. Costumes modern ; scenery, two in 
teriors. Plays two hours. A compact little comedy of American business 
life of the popular type. Its small cast naturally gives good opportunity 
to all its few characters, its story is sympathetic, its action brisk, its dia- 
logue good, and its character-drawing effective. Strongly recommended 
to such as are in want of a short cast and easy production. Professional 
stage-rights reserved. Royalty for amateur performance ten dollars 
{^ lo.oo) for each performance. 

Price, JO cents 

CHARACTERS 

Tom Preston, the prospector. 

Walter Shede [pronounced Sha-dy). 

Robert Emmett McGowan. 

Charlton, of the Charlton Construction Co, 

Dr. Manning. 

Mr. Jenks, an agent. 

Felicia Kelso. 

Kate Carew. 

THE GRAND DICKENS COSMORAMA 

Comprising several unique entertainments capable of 

being used separately or in combination, 

for school, home or hall 

By George B. Bartlett 

Strongly recommended as a Dickens entertainment for its variety of 
material and comprehensiveness. Its elasticity in the matter of scale fits 
it for the use of either large or small occasions. 

Price, 2^ cents 

COBWEBS 

A Juvenile Operetta in Three Acts 

By Elizabeth P. Goodrich 
Two male, four female characters. Scenery, all interiors, but of small 
importance ; costumes to suggest insects, but easily arranged. Plays an 
hour and a half. A very pretty little operetta for children, easily gotten 
up. The music is original and is published complete with the text in one 
volume. Can be recommended. 

Price, 2j cents 



New Publications 



PIECES PEOPLE PRAISE 

Serious, Humorous, Pathetic, Patriotic and Dramatic 

Selections in Prose and Poetry for Reading 

and Recitation 

One hundred selections in prose and verse by Mark Twain, Oliver 
Wendell Holmes, Robert Buchanan, James Russell Lowell, George William 
Curtis, Edward Eggleston, Nora Perry, W^endell Phillips, Charles Sum- 
ner, Charles Dickens, Henry Clay, John Boyle O'Reilly and the author 
of " Betsy Bobbitt." Over 200 pages. 

Price, 2 J cents 



PIECES PEOPLE RECOMMEND 

Serious, Humorous, Pathetic, Patriotic and Dramatic 

Selections in Prose and Poetry for Readings 

and Recitations 

One hundred selections in prose and verse by Longfellow, Whittier, 

T. W. Higginson, Will Carlton, F. H. Gassaway, Tennyson, Bret Harte, 

Irwin Russell, Arthur Sketchley, Bulwer-Lytlon, O. W. Holmes, Southey, 

Samuel Lover, J. M. Bailey, Theodore Parker, Thackeray, M. Quad, 

Fitzjames O'Brien, William Cullen Bryant and others. Over 200 pages. 

Price, 2^ cents 

LITTLE FOLKS ENTERTAINMENTS 

A Collection of Drills, Finger Plays, Recitations, Wax- 
Works, Pantomimes and Tableaux for Little 
Children 

Written and arranged by 
Nellie B. Case, L. B. Case, and others 
Comprising eight finger plays, sixty-nine recitations and dialogues, 
three drills, etc., all complete with music, and a large and varied assort- 
ment of Mother Goose entertainments. Something for all occasions. 
Price, 25 cents 



Sent postpaid on receipt of price by 

Walter H. Baker & Co., 5 Hamilton Place 

BOSTON, MASS. 



New Plays 



MID-CHANNEL 

A Play in Four Acts 
By Arthur Wing Pinero 
Six males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. This strong and interesting work by Eng- 
land's leading dramatic author will be remembered through the performance 
of its leading character in this country by Miss Ethel Barrymore. It man- 
ifests the same absolute technical skill that always distinguishes the work 
of this writer and is, besides, interesting in theme and characters to a 
greater extent than any of his recent plays. An admirable reading play. 
Stage rights reserved for the present. Price, jo cents. 

THE THUNDERBOLT 

A Comedy in Four Acts 

By Arthur Wing Pinero 
Ten male, nine female characters. Scenery, three interiors ; costumes, 
modern. Plays a full evening. A powerful acting play that reads like a 
novel. Acting rights reserved for the present. Price, 50 cents, 

THE NEW YORK IDEA 

A Comedy in Four Acts 
By Langdon Mitchell 
Nine male, six female characters. Scenery, three interiors ; costumes, 
modern. Plays a full evening. Well known through the performance of 
Mrs. Fiske. Permission may be obtained by amateurs to play it on pay- 
ment of an author's royalty of ^25.00 for each performance. 
Price, so cents. 

COUSIN KATE 

A Comedy in Three Acts 
By Hubert Henry Davies 
Three males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two easy in- 
terors. Plays two hours and a half. Widely known through the per- 
formance of the leading role by Miss Ethel Barrymore. Sold for reading 
only ; acting rights strictly reserved. Price, JO cents. 

MRS. GORRINGE'S NECKLACE 

A Play in Four Acts 

By Hubert Henry Davies 

Five males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, a single interior. 

Plays two hours and a half. Well known through the performance of Sir 

Charles Wyndham. Sold for reading only ; acting rights strictly reserved. 

Price, so cents. 



New Piays 



HIS WORD OF HONOR 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Charles Go J 
Eleven males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors 
and an easy exterior. Plays two hours. An exceptionally good college 
play, high in tone and aim, and faithful in atmosphere and color. Its 
theme is taken from the serious side of college life, — the so-called " Plonor 
System " in college examinations, — but its humorous traits are various and 
rich and its general tone gay and vivacious. Very strongly recommended 
for sciiools, particularly for co-educational institutions. Will suit both in- 
structors and instructed. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
Dick Walthour, a senior. 

Harvey Grant, a senior, president of the Stude7it Council, 
Bert Flemming, Dick' s roommate, a junior. 
Arthur Carson, a Virginian, a Junior 
William Henry Fra'ser, alias " Kid," a freshman. 
Hunter, Jackson, King, Wilkins, students. 
Jeremiah Hackett, a sophomore, Fraser s roommate, 
Coffey, 2. postman. 

Helen Flemming, Serfs sister, a junior. 
Janette Gordon, a junior. 
Molly Atkins, a freslunan. 
Arethusa a. Judkins. a sophomore, a "grind.*' 
Mrs. MacInchbald, the chamber-'' maid'' 
Professor Nicely, Professor Loomis, and others. 

WHEN WOMEN VOTE 

A Farce in Two Acts 

By Anna P. See 

Five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an easy interior. Plays 

forty minutes. A good-natured and clever forecast of the time when the 

Suffragette has won her fight, telling an amusing little story to carry its 

satire. Good for women's clubs ; easy and bright. 

Price, /J cents 

BUMPS 

A Farce in One Act 
By Lillie Davis 
Three females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays twenty 
five minutes. An amusing little hit at the fad of phrenology, suitable for 
scJuool performance. Clean and bright. 

Price /5 cents 



By the Author of ^^Mr. Bob" 

THE NEW CRUSADE 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
By Rachel Baker Gale 
Twelve females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays one 
hour and thirty minutes. A very amusing satire of the servant girl ques- 
tion, brimful of telling incidents and effective lines. All the parts are 
good and of nearly equal opportunity, and practically play themselves. 
Well rehearsed, it is a sure success and goes with a scream, Irish, negro 
and Swede character parts and a " tough " girl. Strongly recommended 
for ladies' clubs. Can be played only on payment of a royalty of ^5.00 
to the author. 

Pricey 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
Miss Morris, nothing if not businesslike. 

Mrs. Cogswell- Brown, who believes in cooperative housekeeping, 
Mrs. Potter- Hewitt, who looks sfnall, but is not. 
Mrs. Raymond, who advocates ''The New Crusade.*' 
Mrs. Archibald Tracey, itt search of a maid and experience. 
Bridgett Mahoney, in search of " an ouldgintlejnan.'* 
Mary M acquire, who likes '*the theyatre in the winter toime.** 
Augusta Olsen, who comes from "Svedetifor big monay." 
Cassie Clay, who never ** takes suggestions from anybody,** 
Jennie Burch, who never ''has time for afternoon tea'' 
Matilda Johnson, who likes ' * slaughtermobiles and a choffer** 
Merry, the settlement girl — who s always ''on de level,*' 

coats and petticoats 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Rachel Baker Gale 

One male (played by a woman), seven females, and if desired, sixteen 

girls for chorus. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays forty-five 

minutes. A very lively and amusing piece introducing fancy dresses, 

music and dancing. All the parts of about equal opportunity, Irish 

comedy part and two capital " old maids." Very funny and not difficult 

Complete with music for the Suffragettes' song and march and the Old 

Maids' song and march„ Very strongly recommended. 

PricCy -25 cejits 

AN EASY MARK 

A Farce in One Act 
By Innis Gardner Osborn 
Five males, two females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays thirty-five minutes. A side-splitting farce of college life lively enough 
to suit the most exacting demands. Full of funny incident and telling 
lines. Burlesque actor and " tough " young man parts ; the rest «« straight" 
and all good. Recommended for schools. Price^ t^ cents. 



New Entertainments 



DRILLS AND ENTERTAINMENTS 
FOR CHILDREN 

By Harriette Wilbur 

Author of * All the Year Round,'' *' Little Plays for Little 
Players,"" '*A Dream of Mother Goose " (in part), etc. 

A collection of pretty and picturesque drills containing several of un. 
usual novelty and effectiveness. Of the thirteen entertainments the first 
seven are quite new ; the last six have appeared before as independent 
books with good success. All are published complete with diagrams and 
all necessary music that can be reprinted and full instructions for proper 
production. The following list of titles will give a better idea of the 
variety and scope of the collection than can be conveyed by any description. 
Price, 2$ cents 

CONTENTS 

A BiLLiKEN Frolic. For eight boys. 

Teddy Bear and Johnny Bear. For eight small boys, 

** NiD NiD Nodding." For any number of little children j^op. 
three to six. 

The Workers. For twelve boys. 

A Pop-Corn Ball. For eight, twelve or sixteen girls, twelve 
er thirteen years of age. 

Highland Echoes. For any even number of boys. 

A Yard of Dandelions. For eleven little girls. 

Juvenile Fantastics. For an equal number of girls and boys 
fr^m six to nine years old. 

The Butterfly. For any number of primary pupils. 

The Soap-Bubble Drill. For sixteen girls. 

The Tennis Drill. For sixteen girls. 

The Harvesters. For eight boys and eight girls. 

The Bread and Milk Drill. For ten children, boys and girls. 

The incidental music for "A Billiken Frolic" is published 
separately and can be supplied in sheet music form. 
Price, JO cents 

Sent post-paid on receipt of price by 

Walter H. Baker & Co., 5 Hamilton Place 

BOSTON, MASS. 



B. W. Pinero's Plays 

Price, SO gents Cacb 



Min PHANNFI Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females. 
lUily-V'Il/l.nilLiLi Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH llnr'^^.T, 

males, five females. . Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. 

THF PRnFIirATF Playin Four Acts. Seven males, five 
1 IlLi 1 IWJl LilVJtX 1 Li females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF QrHnnilVlfQTPFQQ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 
inCt 0\,n\J\JL,miO I Ii.E,00 seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^l^irlSI'ZXi 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
full evening. 

^WFFT f AVFWnFI? ComedyinThl-ee Acts. Seven males, 
O fT £11:1 1 L,t\ V LiilLFfLIV four females. Scene, a single interior, 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

TUF TUf TMnFDKni T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
lIlEi inUllU£iIVDV/LiI nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIMF^ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
***Ci lliTIEiiJ Scene, a single interior; costumes, modern. Plays 
a full evening. 

THF WFAIfFR QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
1 OJu W £ir\lv£ilv OJu A eight females. Costumes, modern ; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE rfve^male?, four females*. 
Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Walttx J^. pafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



3^ecent ^opulai 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



017 199 454 8 • 



THE AWAKcNINU jotJr inales^ix females 
cult, chiefly interiors'; costumes, modern. 
Price, 50 Cents. 

TBE FRUITS OF ENUfiHTENMENT 



By C. H. Chambers. 

Scenery, not ditti- 

Plays a full evening. 



Comedy in Four Acts. 

By L. Tolstoi. TAventy- 
one males, eleven females. Scenery, characteristic interiors ; cos- 
tumes, modern. Plays a full evening. Recommended for reading 
clubs. Price, 85 Cents. 

HIS EXCELLENCY TOE GOVERNOR S»'ffi"JS^;^f %?I 

Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior. 
Time, a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 



males, three females. 
Acting rights reserved. 



M IDF AT HINRAND Comedy in Four Acts. By OscAR Wilde. 
iVL4i\L4 liiJJUiMMr Nine males, six females. Costumes, mod- 
ern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights 
reserved. Sold for reading. Price, 50 Cents. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST llZ" i'^ S^J- 

Wilde. Five males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenes, two 
interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. Acting rights re- 
served. Price, 50 Cents. 

LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN ^r.u'i'"-'sIvSItS!es,''ri"i"! 

males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full 
evening. Acting rights reserved. Price, 50 Cents. 

NATHAN HAIF Play in Four Acts. By Clyde Fitch. Fifteen 
il A I UAn IlAl^l^ males, four females. Costumes of the eighteenth 
century in America. Scenery, four interiors and two exteriors. Act- 
ing rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

THF OTHFR FFTTftW Comedy in Three Acts. ByM.B. Horne. 
lULi VlllLn ILfULfUTT gjx males, four females. Scenery, two 
interiors ; costumes, modern. Professional stage rights reserved. 
Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

THE TYRANNY OF TEARS SSi'iil^^o^rfesJ.^rfe £ 

males. Scenery, an interior and an exterior; costumes, modern. 
Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Pri<ie, 50 Cents. 

Comedy in Four Acts. By 
OscarWilde. Eight males, 
seven females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors and an 
exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Offered for 
reading only. Price, 50 Cents. 



A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Walttv 1$. isaUv & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



• . J. PARKHILL 4k CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON. 



